Stop using "Sorry" as a crutch or a filler word
Over apologizing can be slow down your career progression

Are you somebody who apologizes often? I do that! I apologize for things I don’t have to. Sorry is not a hard word for me. On the contrary, it is the easiest thing to say for me. I am a habitual apologizer. I say I am sorry when I am a minute late, when I cough, when I drop something, when somebody bumps into me, when somebody chooses to hold the door open for me, if I have more items in my cart delaying checkout for the person behind me, if my dog barks at another etc.,. Many of these scenarios are genuinely a reason that I should apologize for but not everything.
Why do people apologize?
People apologize when they make a mistake, when they disappoint or hurt somebody else, when they act outside of the norm, or when they break somebody’s trust. These are valid reasons. But habitual apologizers do so for other reasons too. They do so to avoid conflict, fill up silent space, as a way to be humble, or just because they have low self-esteem.
In her book “The Power of an Apology”, Beverly Engel
“Over-apologizing isn’t so different from over-complimenting: You may think you’re displaying yourself as a nice and caring person, but you’re actually sending the message that you lack confidence and are ineffectual.”
Apologizing can make you look weak
For the habitual apologizers who say sorry for things that they don’t have to, it can hurt you more than you think. In his book “7 Rules of Power”, Jeffrey Pfeffer talks about the negative impact of an apology on your power -
It inherently associates a transgression with wrongful behavior. Even in situations where responsibility might be ambiguous or contested, once someone apologies, the association of that person or organization with the negative action or outcomes is unambiguously established
“When someone apologizes, they incur a psychological cost of how they perceive themselves. “
“An apology does not just affect the social actor by implicating credit and blame affecting people’s feelings about themselves. It also affects how others believe about the social actor. Because apology is a low-power behavior, others will see entities that apologize as possessing less influence, status, and prestige”
Tips to stop apologizing
Pay attention to how many times you say sorry by paying attention to what you speak, watching replays of your videos when relevant or request an accountability partner to notice it for you.
Assess if an apology is really needed. If it is not then rephrase or redirect the apology to something more powerful as below.
Have a fun challenge for yourself
Changing the habit of apologizing
We have to stop using “Sorry” as a crutch, as a filler word, as a silence breaker, and as a diffuser. There are simple techniques to transition an apologetic statement into something clear and assertive
❌ Sorry, can I ask you a question? ✅ Hi, can I ask you a question?
❌ Sorry I kept you holding the door ✅ Thank you for holding the door for me
❌ Sorry but you may have mixed my order up✅ Unfortunately, the order seemed to have been mixed up.
❌ Sorry, we are out of ketchup ✅ We are out of ketchup, would this sauce work instead?
❌ Sorry you are coughing ✅ Your cough seems to be bothering you. I hope you feel better soon
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